tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post8039745067119484828..comments2024-02-22T02:15:01.912-08:00Comments on The Narcissistic Continuum: Refrigerator Mothers Commentary on Bruno BettelheimCZBZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-66232146811195974062016-01-04T18:43:14.479-08:002016-01-04T18:43:14.479-08:00Thanks for the links, Amy. And thank you very much...Thanks for the links, Amy. And thank you very much for reading and posting. This is very interesting to me because we lived in France for several years! <br /><br />The first article you linked about France reinforces why the Internet has been invaluable for families with autistic children: <br /><br />"Once, families did what they were told. The state was ultimately benevolent, and had massive resources to dispense. If doctors chose institutionalisation, then who was to argue?<br /><br />Today it is different. Thanks to the spread of knowledge, the internet, consumerism and the decline of the collective spirit - families for the first time feel emboldened to think, and act, for themselves."<br /><br />I ran a search to find the film and as you said, it's not yet available in English. My French is as rusty as my creaky knees these days! <br /><br />thank you so much! I'm very interesting in reading all of the links!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ<br /><br /><br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-35574709308180647452016-01-03T22:47:23.101-08:002016-01-03T22:47:23.101-08:00Sadly, the view that mothers are to blame for thei...Sadly, the view that mothers are to blame for their child's autism is still widely held in France.<br /><br />See here: http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17583123<br /><br />Here: http://www.english.rfi.fr/france/20140329-autism-campaigners-march-paris-better-care<br /><br />Here: http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2012/01/controversial-autism-treatment-in-france/<br /><br />Here: http://www.care2.com/causes/autism-in-france.html<br /><br />Here: http://runningahospital.blogspot.com/2012/01/autism-in-france.html<br /><br />And here: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/health/film-about-treatment-of-autism-strongly-criticized-in-france.html?_r=0<br /><br />There is more information on the issue than the articles I linked, of course. Another thing: While the ban on the film mentioned in some of the articles has been lifted as of January 2014, an English-subtitled version has yet to reappear.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />AmyAmynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-86924747387369018292011-10-12T11:26:32.549-07:002011-10-12T11:26:32.549-07:00"Since the elders had absolutely no capacity ..."Since the elders had absolutely no capacity to recognise actual problems and an abundance of talent for blaming the wives and mothers for every ailment from uterine cysts to nervous breakdown, you can imagine the sort of turmoil that congregation is in."<br /><br />As you will see after reading the comments on my blog (re: Refrigerator Mother, listed under the Asperger category on my sidelinks), the idea that mothers cause children's autism is Alive-and-Well. <br /><br />I stumbled across another paper just last week, suggesting a similar thing but using updated language to get the message across: IF your child is autistic, YOU are to Blame!!<br /><br />The idea is so ridiculous, the absurdity makes it plausible.<br /><br />I've read stories and talked to people with the most nightmarish mothers in the world---women who give Hitler competition. And their children are NOT autistic so what gives here? <br /><br />I also think that women want to get 'credit' for being nurturing---especially if they are not employed outside the home and put all their energy, attention and "self-esteem" into mothering. They want to believe their life's devotion is integral to their children's mental, physical, spiritual and emotional well-being. So in an unintentional way, women uphold theories that are misogynistic without intending to hurt other women or themselves!<br /><br />I figure 'churches' will be the last to let go of the Blame Women ideology.<br /><br />Women may be put on pedestals with 'mothering' deified as her greatest calling. What some of us learn the hard way though is that pedestals are doomed to topple.<br /><br />In the back of many people's minds, the MOTHER is still to blame for whatever problems her child may have. Sometimes you aren't even aware of your own conditioning...<br /><br />Thanks for writing about your experience, anonymous.<br /><br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-4431375103863149502011-08-09T17:08:22.635-07:002011-08-09T17:08:22.635-07:00Before my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Sy...Before my son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, one of the elders at my church took my husband aside and said our son had the worst case of emotional dysfunction they had ever seen. This was after we had gone to this elder for some counsel and support. We knew our son had some issues, we didn't know how to approach them. The elder then told my husband that our son's problem was that I didn't love my son enough.<br /><br />I suppose I should thank this person because the ensuing emotional and spiritual spiral caused my husband and I to look for reasons why my son did not improve after I had performed the required penance (admission of guilt and hours of prayer/repentance/tears). Lo and behold, after an official diagnosis from a child psychiatrist (who by the way was a complete narcissist despite his ability to diagnose autism), we went back to the elder and told him what the problem was, thinking that this charlatan would rejoice with us that it wasn't lack of love which caused the problem.<br /><br />He simply nodded in my direction and said 'It is hard'. End of story.<br /><br />This man is the father of five sons, one of whom is profoundly mentally handicapped. He actually was my high school sports teacher, before he became the youth pastor at the church we attended and has continued in this position for some decades. Within the very large group of hundreds of teenagers, there were, we later discovered, at least four boys with Asperger's Syndrome, yet our son was apparently the worst case the elders had ever seen. Since the elders had absolutely no capacity to recognise actual problems and an abundance of talent for blaming the wives and mothers for every ailment from uterine cysts to nervous breakdown, you can imagine the sort of turmoil that congregation is in. <br /><br />Fortunately for us, we left very soon after this. Unfortunately for many christian women, the 'refrigerator mother' syndrome which existed once amongst misogynistic medical professionals is clearly experiencing a revival within the clergy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-13961269204046633722011-07-22T13:11:38.411-07:002011-07-22T13:11:38.411-07:00I don't remember the name of the book. They e...I don't remember the name of the book. They escaped to Canada because someone was planning to take them to court and turn their child over to the medical doctors to be institutionalized. It had a huge impact on my but unfortunately names escape me. I tried looking for a link to a book and did find some amazing links for autism but none sounded like the book I read. Plus it had to be written before 1985. I think the name was "A house on a hill." I did find an autistic school called House Hill and wondered if it is influenced by the book I read. The book really made a huge impact.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07083142637240943607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-71116642384001229922011-07-21T10:29:00.338-07:002011-07-21T10:29:00.338-07:00Hi Ruth!
Thanks for reading that long essay with ...Hi Ruth!<br /><br />Thanks for reading that long essay with about ten smaller essays embedded in the content. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and see where it leads. <br /><br />I was raised to defer to authority--questioning authority was a 'no-no' and took a lot of courage on my part to get over this 'upbringing'. Someone like Bettelheim could easily have persuaded my family into submission. So the 1960's brought about some much-needed change as far as questioning "the establishment". <br /><br />Today, instead of being better at critical thinking, I feel like people have just become more cynical, distrusting, even apathetic because they can't trust authority figures to have anyone's best interest at heart other than their own! I see this everywhere: politics, religious organizations, corporations. It's a sad situation in a world that operates on mutual trust. <br /><br />So as usual, we've gone from blind obedience to open-eyed-cynicism but gosh, that's how we seem to do things---the old 180 degree dysfunctional flip!<br /><br />It sounds like you were able to 'empower' yourself from an early age and take charge of your life and your healing. That's remarkable, Ruth and commendable. <br /><br />I'm very curious about the family escaping to Canada in the 70's. Do you have a link? I'll try googling because it's unclear why they were forced to do something like that...perhaps they were seeking better health care? <br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-81280417587320821082011-07-20T18:58:09.368-07:002011-07-20T18:58:09.368-07:00Thank you for sharing the documentary and your com...Thank you for sharing the documentary and your comments. Autism is a difficult enough without blaming those that are not at fault. I came from a home that believed the experts. By my teens, I realized that the experts could contradict each other. Being an expert in one area seemed to allow them to spout off in another unrelated field without question. I learned at an early age to doubt and do my own studying. Whenever I came across a question I wanted to learn I would choose books both for and against a particular theory. My strong background in science led me to question, investigate, and eventually form my own theories that seemed to land somewhere between the opposing camps. I read of a family with an autistic child escaping to Canada in the '70s to keep the child out of the clutches of the medical field. I watched my own grandmother that was a legal drug addict as she took numerous drugs given to her for complaints that may or may not have existed. When I had my own mental health problem I used studying many books to do my own research then compared it to my own experience. Decided that the 'experts' should try a little real life experience before telling someone else what they should do. Like you mentioned with Dr. Rimland, real life experience probably acted as a strong motivator to find truth rather than what is convenient or popular.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07083142637240943607noreply@blogger.com