tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post9104185183105107556..comments2024-02-22T02:15:01.912-08:00Comments on The Narcissistic Continuum: Get-A-PartnerCZBZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-78923768876477089742013-03-01T07:13:03.699-08:002013-03-01T07:13:03.699-08:00Yes......thank you! Funny update - my friend boug...Yes......thank you! Funny update - my friend bought me an actual plant. I asked why and he said because the minute I neglect it it will show. When I brought the plant into my office everyone was admiring it, saying how beautiful it was.... I smiled but inside thought it's just a freaking plant. Took it home and actually forgot about it. I told my friend what had happened and he said "That's the point, you view yourself as you view that plantm and as you grow to take care of and love the plant you will grow to love and take care of you". I was speechless........ This year makes 10 years since my husband passed and now that I look back it couldn't be a better time to finally heal. Spoke with a girlfriend this morning and will be forwarding your information to her as well. :-)The SweetDSThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07702227368687809800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-74081012418793581812013-02-19T17:15:51.895-08:002013-02-19T17:15:51.895-08:00Take it as a sign!
Oh! Don't forget to water ...Take it as a sign!<br /><br />Oh! Don't forget to water your seeds today! CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-35962013684824219772013-02-19T17:03:42.119-08:002013-02-19T17:03:42.119-08:00ha! Well, you're giving, loving, forgiving AND...ha! Well, you're giving, loving, forgiving AND beautiful, SweetDST. You are the kind of human being that makes our world go round. Imagine if the whole world were filled with self-centered people! The human species might never have survived.<br /><br />I'm sure, just from what you've written, that your children will forgive and they will learn something from the experience, too. Children look to us to show them how to END abusive relationships and protect ourselves (and them) from harm. If we meet another lousy partner, and yes it happens, what we can teach our children is how to GET OUT a second time. <br /><br />I had to laugh out loud about your seeds and your pot! ha!!! <br /><br />We are ALL learning. You are in the 'thick of it' with the rest of us while we learn about pathology. Nobody knew much of anything about mental illnesses/disorders. And so they stayed and hoped and waited and prayed and stayed and hoped some more. It's a sad thing to think about. <br /><br />We can be grateful there's more information about unhealthy relationships today so we can do better by our children and we won't waste our lives on a persoN who cannot change because...well...they like themselves just fine the way they are.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ<br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-22644925196290866702013-02-18T08:34:18.894-08:002013-02-18T08:34:18.894-08:00Forgot to mention your the "Mate Shopping Rul...Forgot to mention your the "Mate Shopping Rule". I didn't get a lot of these lessons growing up and while I wish I had these very things years ago I can now do better myself, as well as educate my daughter (thinking of creating a journal from me to her). Crazy that this blog was written on her birthday. She will be 15 this year :-)The SweetDSThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07702227368687809800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-25151913394370032482013-02-18T08:31:16.994-08:002013-02-18T08:31:16.994-08:00*tears* This blog written 5 years ago has helped m...*tears* This blog written 5 years ago has helped me so much in the much shorter time it took me to read it yesterday. I'm a young mother - widowed - and for the past year and half couldn't understand what was happening with the man that came along and painted such a beautiful picture which then begin to show water markings from tears. More importantly I couldn't understand why I couldn't break away and STAY AWAY. I now understand him....and also now understand my characteristic and what I need to work on myself. I married young, am very giving, loving, forgiving, and am a woman that loves too much - my gift and my curse. I need, as your reader said above, to become my own best friend, heal, and not be so accepting / make excuses when it doesn't feel right. Love doesn't hurt. What I've gone through wasn't love.<br /><br />I apologized to my children for the detachment I know they've felt and time lost battling depression......and also purchased my seeds and pot on yesterday......<br /><br />Thank you so much! <br /><br />PS: I loved the humor as well......the noodles comparison definitely helped lolThe SweetDSThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07702227368687809800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-79674144078327717122012-10-11T12:55:04.655-07:002012-10-11T12:55:04.655-07:00"I'll not be entering into another relati...<br />"I'll not be entering into another relationship for a while, want to get to be my best friend for a while."<br /><br />That is MUSIC to my ears, anonymous. Be your own best friend first. You are whole and complete and WoNderful and worthy, exactly as you are. <br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-70634331089132835782012-10-11T12:53:31.209-07:002012-10-11T12:53:31.209-07:00Hello dear Ala! When the message board goes down, ...Hello dear Ala! When the message board goes down, my blog stats go up. ha! <br /><br />This post was written in 2008. I'm much wiser today and even more dedicated to fishing for fish, not men. But I used to be one of those women who thought she HAD to have a man to complete her life (and maybe keep her safe from other men which is really funny if you think about it: sleeping with a barracuda and thinking you're safe!)<br /><br />Your friend's story is so common, we aren't even shocked by it. You're right though---even if you printed out this post and took it to her with a piece of cake, she'd swallow the cake and not the advice. Which is what would REALLY nourish her soul and make her healthy.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ<br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-84491983184605429092012-10-11T05:49:39.015-07:002012-10-11T05:49:39.015-07:00I watch my neighbor going through that, and I'...I watch my neighbor going through that, and I'd like to give her this blog to read, but I doubt she'd get it. She is still in the mindset of "gotta' have a man to be whole". As of now, she's on her second "relationship" with her second man-who-is-making-her-house-his-castle. She threw the first one out not too long ago, and moved the second one in shortly thereafter. <br /><br />I couldn't blame her exH when he had a fit about the first guy living in the house HE (XH) built and paid for, around THEIR kids, and wanted to take her to court to put a stop to it. *sigh* There is something seriously wrong if a guy our age doesn't have a good-enough job and needs to move in with his girlfriend right away, in direct violation of 2 of the first 3 principles of mate-shopping.alatarielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14014578065115034334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-72364721844062409182012-03-18T01:55:51.518-07:002012-03-18T01:55:51.518-07:00"If he has a house but doesn’t have a job or ..."If he has a house but doesn’t have a job or a car, he’ll be shacked up in her place shortorder quick" ....He lived at his Mom's...no job, no car....and after dating for just four weeks I'd moved him in with me....cos I thought he was the love of my life and wanted to help him achieve all the things he was planning to re. his writing. I spent so much money on things to help him but sensed there was something amiss when he never once uttered the words "Thank You"...luckily I saw sense, but before I could finish with him, he finished with me....he must have sensed the impending rejection. Even though we only dated for a couple of months I went through the mourning process you describe and even believed that maybe it was me who was narcissistic....but then, if I admit I'm one....I'm not.<br />My Sister helped me by making a joke of it all.<br />"How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?"<br />"None. They have no need for lightbulbs.....they ARE the light!"<br />I'll not be entering into another relationship for a while, want to get to be my best friend for a while. Thank you for your advice, so glad I happened upon your site, it's an eyeopener for someone who had never dated a narcissist before, armed with your advice, I'm sure it wont happen again. :o)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-78378005375126387662011-08-30T12:32:08.533-07:002011-08-30T12:32:08.533-07:00Hey, Thank YOU! I am always so relieved when peopl...Hey, Thank YOU! I am always so relieved when people 'get' my sense of humor! One change to my story, though. The Prozac bowl is now dotted with Cymbalta. LOL<br /><br /><br />hugs to you!<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-32107610258682122252011-08-26T05:20:06.630-07:002011-08-26T05:20:06.630-07:00I haven't laughed in the almost two weeks sinc...I haven't laughed in the almost two weeks since I left. Until I read this! The "bowl of Prozac" just about put me off my chair! Thank you for the inspiration - it was just in time as I was pondering how wonderful it would be to be loved and held. Two years seems like a long time, but you're right. Plus after being in turmoil for the past 32, I know how fast they go. In the meantime, I will be getting to know my new best friend....ME. Plus I will be reaching out to all the friends I had before I put all my eggs in a thorny basket. Turns out they are very happy to visit and comfort me. And now instead of being envious that they were able to get out of their unhealthy relationships, we can celebrate and work through the inevitable pain, together. Thank you, thank you, thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com