tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post2419491022963523433..comments2024-02-22T02:15:01.912-08:00Comments on The Narcissistic Continuum: 22 Signs of Online Destructive Narcissists in Forums & Blogging CommunitiesCZBZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-44331484139834602332015-12-15T10:17:57.512-08:002015-12-15T10:17:57.512-08:00"what makes us think that they would not cont..."what makes us think that they would not continue feeding off of the healing energies of those they sucked their soul's energy from"<br /><br />Exactly. And what makes us think "we" will never be hurt by another narcissistic relationship again? There are signs; there are red flags; there are personality traits and behaviors that "suggest" narcissism. Until we have a urine test proving someone's narcissistic however, we'll need to take better care of ourselves by setting healthier boundaries. Narcissists disrespect and even resent other people's boundaries because it means they can't have whatever they want. Better for people to find that out in the beginning than years later...<br /><br />I maintained relationship with an online "expert" who called himself a "recovering narcissist". It was tricky, however. We bumped heads a few times but his reactions didn't surprise me. Changed behaviors on my part reduced the animosity that could have occurred. Still, if there's a power imbalance (such as exists between "members" and "leaders"), it's probably best to find another group before things spin out of control. <br /><br />The dangerous thing for anyone offending the group is that narcissistic leaders attract narcissistic "monkeys" who will go to the ends of the Earth to please their master. "Flying monkeys" go to extreme lengths to avenge their leader--doing things they never would have done prior to feeling "soooo special". <br /><br />Nonetheless, there are many wonderful people with huge hearts who want to "give back" and help people! Altruism is lovely and true about human nature. <br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-17923895546866219932015-12-11T13:25:47.601-08:002015-12-11T13:25:47.601-08:00Brilliant article...entertaining and so well resea...Brilliant article...entertaining and so well researched and informative. Yes the narcs have infiltrated the healing websites and fortunately the legitimate healers know who they are. We have healed right? However, many have not and are vulnerable. These are the same concerns I relayed to the narcs who announce they are narcs and start healing pages and communicate this false specialness or call themselves "recovering narcissists." For the love of....And yes, they are so predictable. Confront them on their foolery and they send their shame masking aggressive weak entourage of flying monkeys after you in the hopes that you will respond. I think not. The point is that there ARE legitimate healers out there who want to help. Articles like this help raise awareness as the level of depravity of evil. However, if they feed off of their young what makes us think that they would not continue feeding off of the healing energies of those they sucked their soul's energy from.Yourlifelifterhttp://www.facebook.com/yourlifelifternoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-15456404123979850472015-05-13T14:31:18.521-07:002015-05-13T14:31:18.521-07:00Hugs to you too, CZ. You have been so encouraging...Hugs to you too, CZ. You have been so encouraging as I am going through this experience with those aggressive and narcissistic bullies that call themselves narcissism bloggers. Clearly projecting their own narcissism and the lies they tell! They'd be funny if they weren't so sad. I emailed you about this already (I prefer not to identify myself here). I agree aggressive people can use the anonymity of the web to act out their sadistic urges where they may not do so IRL. They are really sad little people, and their horrible childhoods made them this way. Not that it's an excuse. And they're bashing me for having empathy for some narcs but that's exactly what they are. <br />Lots of people think that just becaue someone is going around hating on narcissists on their blog, it must follow they are not narcissists. In fact, the ones who are the most angry are very likely to be narcissists themselves and are just projecting. I understand their anger but they refuse to let it go. The attacks on me (and digging up old dirt on a good friend of mine) started because I dared to suggest chronic hatred was not a good permanent state of mind because it destroys your own soul. You already know this.<br /><br />I did link to this blog. My blog roll is in my header under Info and Support rather than as a sidebar as on most blogs. It's been there awhile in fact. I recently removed two blogs that were there that belong to two of these toxic bloggers. I no longer wish to associate with them in any way. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-4702766208543279502015-05-13T12:55:11.461-07:002015-05-13T12:55:11.461-07:00Well, thank you! I write what I know and I know wh...Well, thank you! I write what I know and I know what I've been through! <br /><br />There were a few terrible experiences long before this article was even a thought in my head. If you can imagine, one cyber-friend called people on the phone to tell them I was a lying psychopath. And even harder to believe is that some folks believed her! One cyber-friend was so scared, she thought about moving. Fear and paranoia run rampant in "healing forums"---it doesn't take much to set off a fire. <br /><br />Cyber-bullying is common enough that many people have experienced it---either as a victim or a witness. Some of my favorite feminist writers are currently being "run off the web" by people who misinterpret their words, make shit up, etc. and all because they FELT INSULTED. Widdle hurt feewings are used as justification for BIG MEAN BULLYING and this behavior appears to be on the increase. All it takes is one word and an entire brigade joins forces to take someone down. The intent is to destroy whomever they perceive to have insulted them and the awful thing is that they enjoy hurting their preferred target-of-the-day. <br /><br />The inability to tolerate even the perception of insult/disagreement is an indication of narcissism. <br /><br />People seem to be more thin-skinned than ever and I wonder if "internet anonymity" encourages people to remain stuck in their own muck. I don't believe face-to-face discourse would result in immediate umbrage and hostile attacks. <br /><br />People are drawn to angry blogs. As mentioned in my article, angry people make powerless people feel <i>powerful.</i> Blogs and forums can help people get better but they can also make people worse. We must exercise caution when joining sites discussing pathology because more often than not, people get stuck in the abyss they're staring into. <br /><br />I'd love it if you'd link my blog!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ<br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-63461688149473514102015-05-13T04:24:21.000-07:002015-05-13T04:24:21.000-07:00This is a fabulous article. It's as if you re...This is a fabulous article. It's as if you read my mind and know EXACTLY what has been going on with me and several bloggers. I know you wrote this long before I ran in with them, but you may be referring to the same crew. They display every single trait you have mentioned. I was beginning to wonder if I was in fact the narcissist due to all the gaslighting and blame shifting that has been done recently, but no...these clowns fit these descriptions to a T, including the accusations of theft (when all I did was share a link). After some of the dust settles, CZ, I want to reblog this article on my site because others deserve to be warned about people like this. Unfortunately these types of people are usually admired and popular, at least until they're exposed as the frauds they really are (I've seen that happen too). They are good at getting people to side with them because they seem so strong and people admire their willingness to use aggression and mean spirited humor to mock others openly on their sites. Our society loves that sh*t. This article made my day, seriously. Thank you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-77742094692081136632014-09-21T01:42:11.178-07:002014-09-21T01:42:11.178-07:00reading it again, still so reminds me of my emotio...reading it again, still so reminds me of my emotional vampire ex bestie!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-4797577242351567312014-05-20T21:41:03.246-07:002014-05-20T21:41:03.246-07:00There seems to be a "snarky" attitude pe...There seems to be a "snarky" attitude people find entertaining until they're the ones caught in the cross-hairs. Funny how we never think we'll be the scapegoat. <br /><br />Out of curiosity, I'll read through the links you posted and see how people interact with one another. Self-selection is always fascinating, isn't it? Thanks! <br /><br />By the way:<br /><br />I watched a timely video the other day by Phil Plait titled, "Don't Be a Dick". This is a link to the article and video if anyone is interested: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2010/08/17/dont-be-a-dick-part-1-the-video/#.U3waHvlkSDk<br /><br />Plait writes: "In other words, being a dick not only usually doesn't work, it almost always works against the bigger goal of swaying the most people we can."<br /><br />But nice people don't get much press. And nice people don't rank high in search engines because nice isn't very entertaining, is it? <br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-8829370568643771132014-05-20T20:09:51.368-07:002014-05-20T20:09:51.368-07:00Hello Betty! Thanks for reading and commenting! I ...Hello Betty! Thanks for reading and commenting! I love it when a person feels compelled to give back however they can and for some of us, that means writing about our experience and our knowledge. <br /><br />If you read Part II (PuppyGate), be sure you pack a lunch and get a soft blanket before you settle in for a l-o-n-g read! I wasn't sure if people would be interested but so far, the response has been positive. That made it worth wading through (literally) thousands of messages. Our forum was incredibly busy "back in the day" when there was little information about narcissism other than Sam Vaknin. (I learned to manage message boards on a NPD forum featuring Vaknin. Assistant managers earned their stripes in that place). <br /><br />I am unfamiliar with websites asking members to use their real names. Seriously? It might reduce the "shenanigans" but it also reduces self-disclosure.I don't browse other message boards that often and have never heard of this. I think it's a terrible and dangerous idea to use 'real names' that can be googled and Facebooked and tracked. If you could email me about those sites, I'd really appreciate it: wonmanagers@yahoo.com. When most people join forums and blogs, they are hurting, suffering, not thinking as critically as they should. They tend to be naive and "too" trusting. As long as they protect their anonymity from other members AND forum managers, they'll be okay. If things get ugly, they can leave without residual concerns about privacy. <br /><br />If the forum is discussing gardening, then hey, okay, use your real name. If the forum is discussing mental health and personality disorders, people will be putting themselves in jeopardy should "the narcissist" track their messages. I've witnessed some terrifying cyber harassment when people used their real names. <br /><br />Also, I was reading your blog about your medical situation and am so sorry to learn of your health problems! A few months ago, my daughter who lives with me was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Neither of us understood the challenges people face when they have lifelong diseases. Finances are a major source of anxiety because people who've always worked hard, are suddenly unable to work. Maybe they can work one day out of the week but who's gonna hire them? <br /><br />We are crossing our fingers that she'll regain her eyesight and balance, and that the fatigue with diminish enough to work a desk job. (she ran a Starbucks store which is too physically demanding now). I hope you have family support. Family has been crucial for my daughter because there are days when she cannot prepare her own food and doesn't have enough energy to use a remote. She went to bed feeling tired and woke up the next morning unable to see, walk or hear out of one ear. MS is an odd disease and no two people are affected the same way. Bless you, BettyLaLuna...my heart goes out to you. Prayers for both our families. <3<br /><br />Love,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-10303725397828775902014-05-20T10:24:57.537-07:002014-05-20T10:24:57.537-07:00I just wanted to say you do such phenomenal work C...I just wanted to say you do such phenomenal work CZBZ. While I've taken a more casual infrequent approach to the work on the peer support/blogging side as of late due to my recovery and the need to explore other horizons, I can identify and relate with everything you have shared. It is spot on. I am very much looking forward to reading Part II of this. As a blogger covering this issue as well, there are a few people I list in terms of resources, but for the same reasons you outlined, sometimes I am concerned about leading people to places I cannot personally vet. It is a catch 22 for me, because even those I have listed I can't say 100 percent I can vet; however, I have not experienced any shenanigans. I wholeheartedly agree use of an alias is wise, and if I can offer anything to the discussion and in support of all you've shared, my best advice - one red flag - and it's one I've encountered...sites which manipulate visitors into disclosing their identity under the guise of questioning or challenging their 'true victimhood'. Don't fall for it...question THEM...or better yet, RUN!...Thank you for this post it is very much needed advice for those who are new to this. Mara Miragehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10539840865517944670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-68047077766474285642014-05-11T11:10:46.905-07:002014-05-11T11:10:46.905-07:00These are excellent articles. Thank you. Two blog...These are excellent articles. Thank you. Two blogs that immediately come to my mind are judgybitch who at least gives a very accurate warning in her blog title and chumplady whose traumatized, cult-like following refer to themselves "Chump Nation" and who exhibit extreme hostility is their one dimensional view is challenged.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-10679444796052014332014-03-16T22:13:21.382-07:002014-03-16T22:13:21.382-07:00Yep, CS....funny how this thread started out with ...Yep, CS....funny how this thread started out with a bully casting mud. LOL!<br /><br />Boundaries. I have been talking with other ACONs about this very lately. In my experience, personally and many that I know, boundaries are something we never put in place. In fact we weren't allowed boundaries with narcissistic parents....or exs. I think this is one of the greastest stumbling blocks for women especially. When we don't learn that we CAN set boundaries early on in our lives, we don't later. Until we are hurt and wounded again and again. I do know that I thought, for the longest time...that setting boundaries was almost 'elitist'. No, it just made me food for slaughter. By not setting boundaries we open ourselves to all sorts of abuse...and self-abuse. I came to the concept of boundaries very late in life. I still struggle with it. But I am seeing the necessity of boundaries for self-preservation. And....not setting boundaries isn't being empathetic. It's intellectual and emotional suicide.<br /><br />Lady Nyo....just some thoughts....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-26858481200119288382014-03-08T11:07:24.073-08:002014-03-08T11:07:24.073-08:00I love how this whole long thread is full of empat...I love how this whole long thread is full of empathy and self-disclosure, sharing pain and giving support, with new voices joining in too. But what REALLY makes me love it is the fact that the first comment in came from a hateful, nasty-assed troll, one of the cyberbullies. Ya gots to love it. The thread just irons that tiny little bump out, duzznit?Calibans Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04817489284771105048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-34024794998842951952014-03-07T16:16:34.582-08:002014-03-07T16:16:34.582-08:00ACoNs can be incredibly empathetic, compassionate,...ACoNs can be incredibly empathetic, compassionate, generous and loving. They can also be well...awful. ;-P I guess it's exactly what that native american fable says: "It depends on which wolf you feed." The one thing that seems to be most true about ACoNs are our shitty boundaries. We don't know when we're in dangerous territory because many ACoNs "numb" their fear and when we do that, we can't hear our intuition or even loud clanging warning bells. Unmelting our feelings, getting those emotions going, is how we recognize dangerous territory (and groups/people) before we've been hurt. This general idea is from Gavin deBecker's book, "Gift of Fear."<br /><br />Treating ourselves kindly means choosing friends who are kind. If we want to have peace in our lives, then we must hang out with peaceful people. I've been giving this a lot of thought after reading about "mirror neurons" because without even realizing we're copying people, we find ourselves doing-as-they-are-doing. <br /><br />I liked your comment about the Pack Mentality being one of the most primitive behaviors. It fits right in with some of my other thoughts about the importance and value of "civility." Anyone can act like a hound dog. Take my X for example. ;-P<br /><br />Love<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-89252385001015142592014-03-07T01:14:38.340-08:002014-03-07T01:14:38.340-08:00Thank you, CZ. I know that plenty of us await wha...Thank you, CZ. I know that plenty of us await what you are going to write about this above. And yes, it never ends. I think we just do 'damage control' our entire life. If we had Nparents, we know the root of the issue, it's branded on us from early childhood. This is not to say that we live in a state of depression/self-doubt/anxiety, but for long stretches we do. And these trolls? These people who push and push until they get a reaction? I don't know, but what this latest round of cyber-real bullies has taught me is this: We need to pick who we siddle up to much more carefully. We need to consider the field we are about to enter, whether it is a website or a community group. We need to cherish ourselves and not throw ourselves to the wolves, especially when we see them beginning to growl. Pack like mentality is one of the most primitive behaviors possible and everyone of us are at risk at sometime in our llives. The point is to lessen this. I have found that ACONs are some of the most charitable people to a fault. This is in part because of what we have suffered, and we don't know or realize our necessary boundaries. But we certainly can learn.<br /><br />Further, we are 'sensitive'. We have had to measure our steps, our words, our very presence in the light of rejection and sometimes violence. But in doing so we have become intensely conscious.of our surroundings and of ourselves. The positive is that we have become 'awake'. And we have awakened our subconscious, too. In doing so, we have more tools to navigate life. We can build upon this and become more fully human. We can also lessen the pain with better choices.<br /><br />Lady NyoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-6970465446961685212014-03-05T11:01:59.644-08:002014-03-05T11:01:59.644-08:00Your question isn't inappropriate. The comment...Your question isn't inappropriate. The comment section isn't conducive to a thorough discussion so I'll put your question on a word document and post a few thoughts. Hopefully other people will feel comfortable adding to a discussion that's very "sensitive." <br /><br /> Is there an end to this journey? Well my initial response is no. Never. It's life-long. That doesn't mean the pain and confusion is life-long. There are certain "resting points" in the journey that make it easier to go forward afterwards. To tie in with this particular blog about "online narcissists", even that experience has the potential to birth insight into ourselves--how we think, behave, believe. <br /><br />I appreciate our conversation about your current online conflict. Its given me a lot to think about and inspired me to write another post about "Trolls", people who dangle fishing rods in the deep blue cyber-seas, hoping to get a "bite." We don't see that very often on blogs about narcissism but the basic idea can be applied to conflicts that "push and push" the target/scapegoat until s/he reacts. And in hoping this makes you feel better, LadyNyo, ANYONE would try to defend their character and intent in 'reactive' ways. It's easy to say "Ignore the bullies! Ignore the trolls!" but it's not that easy for people to "let go"---especially when the women live in your city! That you tried to resolve the conflict speaks of your "good will" but at a certain point in the harassment, good will is withdrawn because it isn't reciprocated. Maybe there is a parallel in the length of time it takes ACoNs to recognize their extension of "good will" is not being met in equal measure by the N-pareNt. <br /><br />Love<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-34280607257633525542014-03-04T04:51:09.657-08:002014-03-04T04:51:09.657-08:00Wow...these articles are remarkable and so damn ti...Wow...these articles are remarkable and so damn timely. Yes, it's quite a coincidence here...but perhaps not. The explosion in acknowledgement on bullying, in press and tv is astounding. Perhaps our society is becoming more alarmed. Hopefully.<br /><br />Sadism. I have had some direct experience with a sadist, (and a sexual sadist)...CZ you know who I am referring to. (or is it whom? I get confused) and have had to do some studies on sadism because it pops up all the time. My mother's behavior is tied to what I call 'emotional sadism'....and it was confusing for years until I read Fromm and Peck. That gave a bit of understanding on this issue, but it is more prevalent than I think we know.<br /><br />I'll read these articles above this week. Thank you.<br /><br />On another issue, something that I have been talking with other ACONs, some who post here, and others who don't: Is it really possible to heal from the constant behaviors of a chief narcissist in our childhood? Somewhere I read someone saying that the pervasive behavior of a parental narcissist actually can change the wiring of the child and the damage is so deep that we never really heal.<br /><br />I do know that we are always 'on guard' once we become aware of narcissists and what they do in our lives. This also means the narcissists that we divorce, etc.<br /><br />If this query is inappropriate right here...please delete. But! this issue has been brought up and I can't stop thinking of it. Do we ever really fully recover? Or do we just 'cope' in some way?<br /><br /> I do know that as we become more conscious about the effects of narcissism on us and around us, it seems to deepen into layers, the damn gift that keeps on giving. Talking with women, there seems to be a real issue of constant depression, suppressed anger, (I got that in spades! Even got the sword that goes with it~lol) and a feeling of sadness and self-doubt. Accomplishments and validation through friendship with other recovering ACONs helps, but is there ever a end to all of this 'journey'? Just asking.<br /><br />Love,<br />LNAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-86877537111433993332014-03-03T14:36:10.965-08:002014-03-03T14:36:10.965-08:00"Some of these bullies are just young sociopa..."Some of these bullies are just young sociopaths in the making." ~LadyNyo<br /><br />Yes, I think that is true. Recently an article about online trolls highlighted their "Machiavellian" values, their sociopathic behavior and their sadism. They get enjoyment out of frightening and hurting other people. Maybe you've read it? This is the title and a url. It's been copied on numerous websites.<br /><br />The Study is titled, "Trolls Just Want to Have Fun": <br /><br />http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886914000324 <br /><br />ABSTRACT "In two online studies (total N = 1215), respondents completed personality inventories and a survey of their Internet commenting styles. Overall, strong positive associations emerged among online commenting frequency, trolling enjoyment, and troll identity, pointing to a common construct underlying the measures. Both studies revealed similar patterns of relations between trolling and the Dark Tetrad of personality: trolling correlated positively with sadism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism, using both enjoyment ratings and identity scores. Of all personality measures, sadism showed the most robust associations with trolling and, importantly, the relationship was specific to trolling behavior. Enjoyment of other online activities, such as chatting and debating, was unrelated to sadism. Thus cyber-trolling appears to be an Internet manifestation of everyday sadism."<br /><br />John Grohol's PsychCentral article: <br /><br />http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/16/trolls-just-want-to-have-fun/ <br /><br />"They scored significantly higher on traits of Machiavellianism, psychopathy, narcissism, extraversion and sadism. They also scored lower on agreeableness (meaning they were, from a personality standpoint, more disagreeable)." ~Grohol's article<br /><br />And a really good Slate.com article: <br /><br />http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/climate_desk/2014/02/internet_troll_personality_study_machiavellianism_narcissism_psychopathy.html<br /><br />"But study author Buckels actually isn’t sure that fix is a realistic one. “Because the behaviors are intrinsically motivating for sadists, comment moderators will likely have a difficult time curbing trolling with punishments (e.g., banning users),” she said by email. “Ultimately, the allure of trolling may be too strong for sadists, who presumably have limited opportunities to express their sadistic interests in a socially-desirable manner.”"~Slate article<br /><br />* * *<br /><br />I hope to write a separate blog post about this study which fits very closely to my experiences with online bullies (yours, too!). Maybe I'll have time to do that tomorrow! What a coincidence that my online articles would be posted at about the very same time as these articles!<br /><br />Love<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-43761708030551316162014-03-03T13:40:29.074-08:002014-03-03T13:40:29.074-08:00Yep...let's get together and make a mean pizza...Yep...let's get together and make a mean pizza!~ That is about the only thing that 'mean' is applicable after this week!<br /><br />Yes, this issue of bullying ..what happened is minor to a child that is subject to this day after day. I was as a child, but it was mostly from one girl...Lauren. I think she might be dead now, but she figures large in "Memories of a Rotten Childhood". LOL! (about my shitty family)<br /><br />Bullying here in Georgia has driven boys and especially girls to suicide of late. The schools and parents of these young Nazis should be held in responsibility, but there seems to be a lot of slippage around on this issue. Some of these bullies are just young sociopaths in the making.<br /><br />I am so much more sympathetic now to these kids who fear to go to school...even hop on a school bus. We have definitely gone wrong in our society. Something is going to break and it seems it's beyond hearts.<br /><br />I'll take any 28 inch wooden spoon. Wow....that would be a formitable weapon. We can turn off the computer, but unfortunately, the abuse and abusers still play tapes in our heads.<br /><br />Love, <br />LNAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-83000810904038486012014-03-03T12:36:18.910-08:002014-03-03T12:36:18.910-08:00You with a sword, and me with a wooden spoon. Let&...You with a sword, and me with a wooden spoon. Let's get together and make pizza! <br /><br />Look at you now---the real LadyNyo is back in full force, sharing with people, making jokes, and buying Samurai swords. Put on some Star Wars music and practice your swishing skills and like your husband said, Don't Cut Off Your Foot. Are you sure you aren't interested in wooden spoons? I have one that's about 28" long and it packs a helluva wallop should any of my cyber-enemies dare to pay visit. ;-P <br /><br />I think the tide has turned, definitely. It's shocking that a bully-brigade can destabilize a grown adult. Imagine what a young child would feel/experience??!! This is why we must find ways to protect people from online bullies---the consequences of doing nothing can be severe, even tragic.<br /><br />Love<br />CZ<br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-25992145618518057242014-03-03T09:47:37.856-08:002014-03-03T09:47:37.856-08:00ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IN RIOTOUS LAUGHTER!
You wit...ROLLING ON THE FLOOR IN RIOTOUS LAUGHTER!<br /><br />You with a wooden spoon! LOL! Well, we gets 'em where we gets em'. LOL!<br /><br />Yah....you are right...but life goes on. I was too damn close to the situation, and writing that out usually is good for me ....as a writer, but damn...this just drew me into it further...there was no peace. However, I did see a program Sunday Morning...about how our brains light up with anger, tragedy, etc...these negative stuff. If only my Video component worked I would watch all my "Monty Python" videos...LOL! But I tried that last year and found that they were just ...silly. I had grown beyond them, but I did watch some at videos on Youtube. LOL!<br /><br />I have to laugh. You with your wooden spoon and daughter asleep besides you...(my husband is stuck in DC with cancelled planes and a snow storm, and won't be back until late tonight...hopefullly, so I have been without his lump in the bed since Wed...).<br /><br />Well, my solace came a different way. I went down to a thrift shop, Darleen's....The Treasure Shop...where I have gone many, many times to talk and buy stuff. I joke to her that my house is the house that Darleen built...and it is. SHe has given me such beautiful furniture for almost pennies....well, there, she was talking on the phone, and I was wandering around and found TWO samurai swords. A long one and a short one. I sat down in a comfortable chair and told her the shit that had happened over the past week....and we laughed about it. She was BETTER than Monty Python. I also bought the short sword for 10.00. LOL! We both thought it would bring....something, I don't know what. But I used to be a Quaker, and I have to laugh...me with a sword.<br /><br />But! It is beautifully balanced, though the scabbard is ebony wood and cracked, but the metal blade is stainless steel and unmarked. And I. who have no idea what a samurai sword is supposed to feel like in the hand (except what I think it does writing about these things...lol..pure imagination...) well, it feels ...GOOD. I can swish it around...and I am sure that 'swish' isn't the 'proper' word for this sword, but it's what I am doing. LOL! I am sure that long dead Samurais are looking down from Shinto Heaven or up from their Hell and rolling their eyes! LOL!~<br /><br />Anyway, I told my husband still stuck in DC about the sword and he's begging me not to cut off my foot. LOL! But the tide is turning here, and I feel ...well, dangerous.<br /><br />Which is so much better than pathetic, neh?<br /><br />Love, <br />Lady NyoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-23216697886502769852014-03-02T16:58:44.922-08:002014-03-02T16:58:44.922-08:00I am thankful for your friendship, too. The world ...I am thankful for your friendship, too. The world is full people of good will and isn't that comforting when you've encountered a group of "ill will" folks? You have to let those people go and shrug it off, recognizing all the good souls in your life who love and care about you. <br /><br />I think it's really hard for women to be "disliked" which makes us sitting ducks for relational aggression. We keep trying even after people have proven time and time again, that they don't care about hurting someone's feelings. In fact, they enjoy KNOWING they've "got to you." They enjoy knowing they're bullies to be feared. They'll protect that turf with every foul thing they can say or do which is why it's better to cut our losses and get out earlier rather than later! CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-7513503114751056422014-03-02T16:51:10.224-08:002014-03-02T16:51:10.224-08:00Hi dear friend! Sorry about my absence but I just ...Hi dear friend! Sorry about my absence but I just couldn't get back to this thread. <3<br /><br />It's so painful going through an online conflict; we need friends to hold us steady; to offer perspective and counsel. A more objective view can dispel the hurtful energy...especially if that person has gone through a similar FreakShow. Or as my daughter says, "ShitShow." <br /><br />Take some time away from the altercation and don't even try writing about it until you've restored your equilibrium. Don't push yourself to analyze the event too quickly. It takes time and distance. I have been through this with several other online friends and it doesn't matter how old that person might be, or what their occupation and status might be---online conflicts are destabilizing! <br /><br />When you said you checked outside your door when leaving your house, I had to smile (or grimace maybe) because I was so terrified one time that my daughter slept with me. I even kept a wooden spoon with a long handle on the nightstand 'cuz you know I can wield that sucker like a weapon of mass destruction. I barely slept a wink as my fears found safe harbor in my imagination. You probably aren't as paranoid but my experience allows me to better understand the traumatic impact of online bullies. <br /><br />I hope you are feeling better today!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ<br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-44250082244402761762014-02-27T17:15:44.730-08:002014-02-27T17:15:44.730-08:00You know what? This was a very sharp learning curv...You know what? This was a very sharp learning curve...lessons galore. One thing I did learn...the difference between the way men fight and women.<br /><br />Men usually fight one on one..."Come out to the alley, bastard, and put them up." They fight and then it's over.....and grudges are held differently than with women.<br /><br />Women? These harpies fly at you together....pack mentality. My husband always said that women were much, much more dangerous in a brawl. They went for the jugular. I never understood this because I have never been in a fight. My stomach crawled up into my rib cage over this stuff.<br /><br />I was literally shaking. My mouth went dry, and I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't understand how Women could be so...savage. This Laurel and Ami are both sociopaths...and the 'leaders' of the pack of these women on this site. .I have felt this for a long time. And their husbands?? Violent men both. We aren't talking about the lumpen proletariat..roving street gangs....these are educated men. But power like this goes to their heads...and that is what happened with the Brown Shirts in Germany in the 20's and 30's. These inferior men were given power over the masses, the Jews, and we know what happened. So, power in the hands of these people, espeically these women evoke a savage response that just keeps going on and on.<br /><br />I had to stop trying to write this article for the blog: "CVSmart Asses or Breeding Better Nazis" because it is too fresh, and triggering too much. The sense of betrayal is so strong that I look out my door before I now go out. I don't put past some of these women to do something either to my property or me. That is the hatred that I experienced in two short days before I left.<br /><br />The power of Narcissists and psychosis is something else. Narcissistic Rage is like an out of control locomotive. There are no brakes on the sensibilities of bullys. Perhaps it's better to say that there are no sensibilities with these people. They will attack at any point where there is a suspected Narcissistic injury.<br /><br />However, I also realize the inferiority of these people. The majority of these women hide behind the 'leader'. Mob behavior will...in time....in some....I think will make them rethink and be ashamed. At least I hope so. <br /><br />The strength we have as women lays in our ability towards compassion and empathy. Besides our obviously superior brains and our evolution farther than men. LOL!<br /><br />If it were only so!.. Thank you to everyone here who walked this path with me over the past days. You helped me so much.<br /><br />Love,<br />LN...and Anon??? I have the same problem proving I'm not a robot too~ Some days it takes me more than 3 times to post something....LOL!<br /><br />I do think that there is something that triggers violence when mixed with drugs. I guess that is a no brainer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-28699019184160365892014-02-27T05:57:18.284-08:002014-02-27T05:57:18.284-08:00I had written this article addressing these women ...I had written this article addressing these women and this group but I found that even writing about it was painful...and the abusive shit that happened over the course of only a few days was knocking me backwards. So I decided that part of the problem for ACONs is that we are at times mired in the swamp of narcissist's making and it's not that they will change their behavior...It's wasted energy on our part to try to explain or to elaborate on these things. I saw that that article was disjointed, and it was this because I couldn't get my head together on these things. Yes, I knew that what had happened was a product of a bunch of women who were not teens, and just a mob mentality, but it began to seem like an exercise of futility. They won't change, and they are just loving that they drove a woman. one that most of them never knew...away. High School stuff.<br /><br />It triggered a lot a crap in me...and at 66, I need to put these bitches in perspective. I am better off away from toxins and this group certainly were toxic. The only solace here is a few people either left or refused to join...but they have their own issues. And I am not close to them for various reasons. One is a gay man who is naturally cynical, but that is because he has felt rejection all his life. I can understand this, but the cynicism is something I don't want to be around. Sarcasm and cynicism is exactly what this group was all about. And this doesn't lead to much independent thought: it seems that above just keeps moving in circles. <br />Finally, I realized that as a poet and a writer, like many here, we all face opposition, and I try to remember what Rollo May said...sorta: That creativity comes with our Encounter with Opposition, and perhaps this very disturbing situation will flesh out something positive and creative. Thank you for your emails of concern and I am trying not be overwhelmed about this. In fact, these people, showing the moral courage of toilet tissue...are not the people I would want as friends. Too bad that it's not possible ahead of time, before you involve yourself with people like this to know what they are. I have to remember that the world is big, and there will be better people to know as friends. I am thankful for the friendship on this site.<br /><br />Love, LNAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-72134234196916759082014-02-26T12:54:53.587-08:002014-02-26T12:54:53.587-08:00Oh CZ, once again thankyou. I feel great. If I was...Oh CZ, once again thankyou. I feel great. If I was capable of doin' cartwheels I'd do them around the whole house.... and the garden....and up and down the road! Hope springs eternal! YIPPEE!!<br />love,<br />Marian.Mariannoreply@blogger.com