tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post2520214182249454357..comments2024-02-22T02:15:01.912-08:00Comments on The Narcissistic Continuum: Joan Halifax: Compassion and the True Meaning of EmpathyCZBZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-81588306730864021552012-10-12T18:54:36.183-07:002012-10-12T18:54:36.183-07:00Your reply is so touching, TW, and beautiful. I lo...<br />Your reply is so touching, TW, and beautiful. I loved this statement (actually, I loved your entire post) when you wrote:<br /><br />"compassion...is the key to humility and the recognition our agency is limited; that does not mean we shouldn't use it, but rather allow it to inform our own very human limitations."<br /><br />There is so much more I'd like to say and can't right now but wanted you to know how much your comment touched me before too many days passed by! <br /><br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-38037779445788550282012-10-12T10:16:00.044-07:002012-10-12T10:16:00.044-07:00I felt this speech was extremely timely in many wa...I felt this speech was extremely timely in many ways!<br /><br />There's an uneasiness in our society right now. A polarizing us-or-them dis-ease, fed and groomed by our political process. You can sense it in the air. <br /><br />Even at Costco yesterday, a woman started screaming out of her car window when someone 'unknowingly' whizzed into the parking space she was waiting for (right next to me). Then the woman screamed back and it was so uncomfortable watching them rage at each other when there were plenty of spaces in the parking lot that day! But like I said, there's an unease permeating people's interactions right now.<br /><br />A few days ago, I posted links to a documentary which stirs people's anger and horror. When Joan Halifax ended her speech (above) by encouraging women to partner with men, it seemed like a healthy 'counter' to the "Half the "Sky" documentary.<br /><br />And: October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. <br /><br />I intended to feature several videos and commentary during October. Then my plans were interrupted (what's new? That's life!) and I haven't been able to concentrate on writing articles. So a few random videos and articles will have to do for this year anyway.<br /><br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZ CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-82356531046238556242012-10-10T16:17:26.456-07:002012-10-10T16:17:26.456-07:00Thanks, CZ, very timely.
WTSThanks, CZ, very timely.<br /><br />WTSAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-69097938110700372962012-10-10T14:20:32.462-07:002012-10-10T14:20:32.462-07:00Caring for my terminally ill husband who I love be...Caring for my terminally ill husband who I love beyond reason was the most challenging experience of my life. No, this is NOT "Euphoric Recall" from some old widow, some sappy "remembering/Love Story." Caring for him at home when it would have been far easier to leave him to die in a hospital was a reflection of the words I said, meant from the core of my very being the day I married him. Fortunately, he was a normal guy, no PD's etc. It was the most challenging, loving, intimate experience of our lives together. It did not negate the reality he was dying-for either of us. Hospice was just getting started here and ultimately I evicted them from our home when he slipped into a coma and was no longer able to take PO meds.Their response was to bring over empty gelatin capsules, tell me to crush up his MSLR and MSContin, put the powder in these capsules and give them to him rectally. When I inquired where the morphine patches were I was advised they did not have them as they did not believe they were "effective." HUH? They'd been on the market for YEARS. When we learned he was dying I made three promises to his three requests: The first was "Death with Dignity." Neither of us could have imagined that would involve me poking morphine filled gelatin capsules up his rectum.<br />I am NOT squeemish. I am not repulsed by bodily functions. However, telling me to give a PO medication rectally when the med transdermal system had been available, tested and very effective was simply ludicrous. (Welcome to The Tundra.) They were evicted. I used the MSLR/MSContin in the damn capsules and used them very liberally. He had the death we had discussed: Peaceful, but not in the manner either of us envisioned in view of the lack of information despite our best efforts to procure every last detail from the MDs and Hospice.<br />The 12th is our Wedding Anniversary. The 18th is the 20th anniversary of his death. Compassion does not negate reality, it informs it. You can be present, you can feel deeply, you can assist in every possible way. Compassion also demands we know when to let go and allow reality to permeate DESPITE the pain it causes us. Compassion is not a binary paradigm: It is not "this" OR "that." It is "All of the above." It is messy, full of conflicting feelings.<br />I would not trade my time with my DH for the deep pain and sadness I feel to this day. Love really never does end. Holding "all of it" concurrently is a form of surrender to life on life's terms, not our's. It brings us to our knees and elevates us beyond our own needs/wants/desires. Compassion requires the ultimate surrender of our most cherished beliefs, dreams, aspirations. It is the key to humility and the recognition our agency is limited; that does NOT mean we shouldn't use it, but rather allow it to inform our own very human limitations.<br />TW Tundra Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12262066568878267648noreply@blogger.com