tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post3190850749117305644..comments2024-02-22T02:15:01.912-08:00Comments on The Narcissistic Continuum: The DSM, Axis II & Cluster BCZBZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-88122521774920400442014-07-20T16:44:19.698-07:002014-07-20T16:44:19.698-07:00Hi anon,
I must apologize for missing these comme...Hi anon,<br /><br />I must apologize for missing these comments two years ago! Undoubtedly, the holidays were keeping me busier than usual! (We usually reserve our BEST TRAGEDIES for Christmas so its not hard to imagine me missing your reply!) If you're still around, feel free to comment and we'll take it from there. <br /><br />Hugs<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-13914781061725347522014-07-20T16:40:16.443-07:002014-07-20T16:40:16.443-07:00Hello anonymous,
I'm so sorry to hear about y...Hello anonymous,<br /><br />I'm so sorry to hear about your partner and the suffering he/she experiences. I don't think most people realize the degree of misery narcissists endure, too. <br /><br />I hope your partner is doing better...and how about you? Are you handling this okay? <br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-39716697891330820112014-07-20T14:38:32.014-07:002014-07-20T14:38:32.014-07:00Thank you so much for helping me understand abit m...Thank you so much for helping me understand abit more a freind recommended ur site.My partner has recently tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 120ft bridge an survived. This is the forth time hes tried to end his life (pills prev) hes in dop at the momment. Its great to b able just to talk thank u xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-77490637320545874792012-12-28T00:06:29.790-08:002012-12-28T00:06:29.790-08:00Hi- Same Anon as above. I wanted to add that I'...Hi- Same Anon as above. I wanted to add that I'm a bit confused also about the difference between having the traits as opposed to the disorder itself. Doesn't having the traits make up the disorder?<br /><br />I like your blog by the way. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-77238953813605060382012-12-27T23:57:12.655-08:002012-12-27T23:57:12.655-08:00There seems to be many symptoms in common between ...There seems to be many symptoms in common between BPD and PTSD. I've been told by therapists that I have PTSD. But I've been reading about both. BPD fits in some aspects that seem to be the same as the way PTSD fits. You mention that people with PDs don't think they're the problem though, so does that automatically cancel me out for BPD?...because I do see and observe my behavior...have for years. And although I go through moments of "blaming my parents" at times of serious frustration over it, I take responsibility. Therapists think it's PTSD. But I'm not so sure. I've only just gotten back into therapy as I've had no health insurance until recently and out of pocket was cost prohibitive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-3634718567563543172011-11-26T10:13:13.327-08:002011-11-26T10:13:13.327-08:00Dear LadyNyo,
You are so right, the pain narcissi...Dear LadyNyo,<br /><br />You are so right, the pain narcissists inflict on others is extreme and there is no end if their victim has any shred of self-respect by the time he or she realizes the relationship is destructive. I have found that the minute you stop "Taking their Shite", you are on the slippery slope to Devalue and Discard. Not repair. Not reconciliation. <br /><br />You think, as a normal person, that narcissists want to save the relationship, too. <br /><br />You think, as a normal person, that they'll take responsibility for their share of the problems. <br /><br />You think, as a normal person, that relational distress will be a MUTUAL wake-up call. <br /><br />Yet as you wrote, "any 'discomfort' of their lives is seen as made by others: there is so little self-awareness in these people that they can't be reached..."<br /><br />I suppose the degree of narcissism has everything to do with whether or not they can recover. There are many reports of Borderline PD being 'cured' but in all honesty, living with a recovered 'borderline' would be a huge commitment & challenge.<br /><br />Even when someone is no longer classified as 'borderline' or 'narcissistic', I am pretty certain they're difficult to live with. After all, I know how often I slip and the daily struggles i have with MYSELF and my 'issues' are not pathological. <br /><br />I also know from familial experiences, how important it is to give HOPE to people-with-issues or personality disorders. Hope that their efforts will be rewarded with improved relationships with others and with themselves.<br /><br />The problem with the narcissistic personality is that they have little regard or emotional investment in relationships. They are not highly invested in <br />communal values that create, enhance, and maintain relationships. Even if the narcissist has a certain degree of empathy, he or she uses that empathy to 'manipulate' the people around them. <br /><br />I hope new therapeutic techniques will be able to 'cure' personality disorders of all sorts. But 'cure' does not mean they are easy-going, pleasant and other-focused human beings. If you're dating a narcissist-in-therapy, you might reconsider staying with them. If however, you have a narcissistic parent, spouse or child, then sign yourself up for therapy, too. Cuz you'll need it. <br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-59899891803125082452011-11-25T06:12:42.782-08:002011-11-25T06:12:42.782-08:00This is good,CZ....however, having to live with an...This is good,CZ....however, having to live with and finally away from...far away from...(self-preservation) a Narcissist in the family of origin, is a withering and defeating circumstance for the vast majority of family members.<br /><br />The overwhelming issue is this: a person with such a personality disorder as pathological narcissism continues to spread confusion, vemon, despair. They don't see that anything they do is of 'hurt'...or IF they do, they don't have the ability to 'relate', connect to the wounds they so easily sting with their behavior and the end result on others. Actually, they don't have the mental wiring to care what they do: after all, they cast all blame for things on others, and the world in general.<br /><br />It is a living Hell for those caught up in the manipulations of a Narcissist of such extreme proportions: the entire family is affected for the entire duration of the Narcissist's life: even the death of this person is no respite, because the damage was done to others, especially the adult children, so early on, lives on. Patterning, defeatist thinking, etc. is so entrenched.<br /><br />There is so much a therapist can help with. Unfortunately, they generally don't get to the root of the main issue. Drug/alcohol abuse, etc...can be discerned as crutches to even a Narcissist, but how do you change the wiring and behavior of a person who has no empathy for people? I have found that this is the stumbling block in these cases: There is something so pathologically 'gone' in a Narcissist of this level that the idea of cure is not applicable. First, there has to be some "something' that would drive the Narcissist to therapy, yet any 'discomfort' of their lives is seen as made by others: there is so little self-awareness in these people that they can't be reached. They can't begin to break out of the constant isolation of the "me". They have no empathy for others. It's like a dead-zone in the soul for them.<br /><br />I have the greatest empathy for those who are in distress, BECAUSE of a sneaking reality that what THEY do has some bearing on their lives, and their discomfort. They are reaching out for answers and relief. There is hope here. <br /><br />However, my experience is different: the main person in my family who is this extreme is of no mind or character to even look at what she does: The pollution, the corruption spreads wide in the family, and all are touched in some significant and essential way.<br /><br />To this person: people are to be used and discarded. Over and over. It fortifies their power.<br /><br />You can't even begin to treat these disorders, clusters or whatever, until the person comes in for therapy. And then? This is actually very rare because they don't believe that 'they are the source of their own problems'.<br /><br />I've said nothing new here, but my experience over the course of many decades with not only this person, but the people around her, will remain the biggest sadness of my life.<br /><br />Life is like pealing a stinky onion, neh?<br /><br />Lady NyoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-6762345559533207362008-09-08T10:58:00.000-07:002008-09-08T10:58:00.000-07:00"about the differences between personality traits ..."about the differences between personality traits and personality disorders (particularly Cluster Bs)!"<BR/><BR/>I totally agree.<BR/><BR/>I like this entry because it really tells how severe personality disorders are. <BR/><BR/>While it would be easy to look at myself and say...I must be nuts because I suffered with Ego-Dystonic behaviors..it is far different than NPD. <BR/><BR/>It all makes sense.<BR/><BR/>I am thinking with ego-dystonic behaviors it would be real easy for a narcissist to put an individual such as myself in the funny farm.<BR/><BR/>My fortune was knowing what I didn't want with myself which in the end served self in that i went to council ...something a narc wouldn't do. <BR/><BR/>I can just see myself waving the flag and say..Sure I am ego dystonic and I am willing to work to change that..but that doesn't erase the X's narcissism.<BR/><BR/>I aprecate this entry because it clears up any misunderstandings I might have had about the various possibilities of mental conditions.<BR/><BR/>It assists in knowing and in responding to what is real.<BR/><BR/>Thank You...Anonymous eyesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-53058745261377145022008-09-07T10:41:00.000-07:002008-09-07T10:41:00.000-07:00"I can tell you I always knew something wasn't rig..."I can tell you I always knew something wasn't right and I knew I suffered."<BR/><BR/>Your comment suggests that you wanted to change your behavior to fit with your self-perceptions. That is the definition of ego-dystonic.<BR/><BR/>Let me make an attempt to write another message defining the difference between ego-dystonic and ego-syntonic. Then perhaps we'll both be clearer about ego-syntonic narcissists who ARE NOT DISTURBED by behaviors that most of us would desperately want to change!<BR/><BR/>The focus of this message was to help other people (and myself!) understand how mental illness is classified in the DSM. Many research articles refer to the Axis II, so it seemed important to know what Axis II meant.<BR/><BR/>We need to learn as much as we can about mental illness, in others or ourselves! After all, personality disorders are not going to disappear. At least not in the short term. And many of us will suffer if we are ignorant about the differences between personality traits and personality disorders (particularly Cluster Bs)!<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/>CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-14128402107340712322008-09-05T17:48:00.000-07:002008-09-05T17:48:00.000-07:00Half of this entry is all crushed and inflated/sta...Half of this entry is all crushed and inflated/stacked together. There fore I couldn't read the whole thing.<BR/><BR/>•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••<BR/><BR/> •••Their condition is not consistent with self- perceptions•••. <BR/><BR/>296.80 Bipolar disorder<BR/><BR/>303.90 Alcohol Dependence<BR/><BR/>309.81 Posttraumatic stress<BR/><BR/><BR/>I would disagree in terms of PTSD.<BR/>Perhaps in a certain number of cases but really when it gets down to it people to be blind to all kinds of behaviors patterns (their own). That would be ordinary.<BR/><BR/>As for myself ..I can tell you I always knew something wasn't right and I knew I suffered. I was able to see that I responded differently (overwhelm) to common events and circustances.<BR/><BR/>I didn't like it one bit and hoped I would grow out of it. <BR/><BR/>Got to say...no one thought there was anything wrong with me. That is the funny part of this all. When I tell old friends I have PTSD most of them are like... WHAT?, There is nothing wrong with you. Well I kept it inside and just sweat a lot of bullets . <BR/><BR/>anonymous eyesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-91837983083245826762008-09-05T10:07:00.000-07:002008-09-05T10:07:00.000-07:00Several people have asked me to define Axis II, so...Several people have asked me to define Axis II, so it seemed useful to put a lot of information into one post. <BR/><BR/>I've also been reading numerous articles about healing BPD, which is encouraging news to say the least. <BR/><BR/>Some psychologists are interested in treating NPD, but I remain skeptical about 'cures'. For one thing, the crossover between DNP, NPD and Malignant Narcissism is too imprecise. <BR/><BR/>What may appear to be a NPD may actually be Destructive Narcissistic Patterns (DNP) that are not as entrenched, not as rigid, nor as inflexible as malignant narcissism. <BR/><BR/>I’ve heard people suggest that psychological diagnosis is a bit of an art form, after all! <BR/><BR/>P. S. Thanks for reading that post. It's a struggle for me to write without telling a story, but I gave it my best shot! ;-)<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/>CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-17638093013489080312008-09-05T07:47:00.000-07:002008-09-05T07:47:00.000-07:00This a great and informative post. I'm always gla...This a great and informative post. I'm always glad to see people touching on the other disorders since NPD seems to get so much coverage. Learning about all of them was helpful to me, because the sometimes seem to share traits and overlap at times. There's lots in here I never knew. <BR/><BR/>Its also nice to hear somebody mentioning the perception of the disorders being untreatable is changing. There's a big stigma and apart from those who have it not wanting treatment, most doctors aren't interested in dealing with the difficulties either. I'm reading a good book on how to treat personality disorders, but like you mentioned, it also says many of the same things. Few come to treatment, and less stick to it. More often than not, it always focuses on solving those secondary short term issues.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com