tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post6494820677395939433..comments2024-02-22T02:15:01.912-08:00Comments on The Narcissistic Continuum: Elliot Rodger's Narcissism: a caNary in the coalmiNe? CZBZhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-16636258921881915822014-06-27T05:16:00.669-07:002014-06-27T05:16:00.669-07:00Hi CZ,
You mention a lot of great points. The po...Hi CZ,<br /><br />You mention a lot of great points. The point on a parent's influence vs responsibility and understanding is relatively new to me. I sat a lot with my finger pointing at my mother for a while. And the more and more I begin to integrate parts of me - the positive aspects I find that my mother is not responsible for it - much of it influenced by my school activities. So in that regard she isn't responsible for me with my own destructive behaviours. She has indeed influenced the positive and negative, a lesson I am learning painfully. <br /><br />Your point on how therapy enters the evolution of parental responsibility is very insightful. I laughed at the reporter comment, it is so true! Therapy has, now, become accepted. When I interact with my friends (even on my last visits) psychology and therapy come up in conversation so easily. "Oh, I went to Deepak Chopra's seminar and it changed me!" "I'm writing a life plan and getting it together" It is not to say that Chopra's words can't influence change in some. What I find interesting about the entry of this is a sort of recycling. Therapy seems to be an easy solution, quick fix but the same complex problem still exists. In some ways, therapy is now getting the responsibility of the child's well-being. Man, my science brain now is questioning the root cause analysis. <br /><br />Same here, a pleasure to chat with you. <br /><br />Hugs, TRTRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08532757489135750861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-28327283707035251332014-06-18T05:34:40.894-07:002014-06-18T05:34:40.894-07:00I agree. Male Boomers are great pretenders. Some ...I agree. Male Boomers are great pretenders. Some of the worst "unconscious" sexists I know are mid-Boomers. It's just bred into them early in a thousand ways, and culture reinforced it ON EVERY LEVEL until only recently. I remember thinking, only a few years ago, that finally tv commercials about "what to make for dinner" are not just showing "Moms" or "wives" fretting over making interesting meals. Things are only now really shifting.Calibans Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04817489284771105048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-36009673188283899042014-06-11T21:33:00.420-07:002014-06-11T21:33:00.420-07:00There isn't much information to go on yet; how...There isn't much information to go on yet; however, Jared's parents divorced a few years ago. :-(<br /><br />The guns and ammunition were owned by his father. Just clarifying "Parents" since Dad had full custody of his sons. Go Dad. :-(CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-14569802986643383572014-06-11T20:48:38.109-07:002014-06-11T20:48:38.109-07:00Oh dear...Jared was deeply involved in religious a...Oh dear...Jared was deeply involved in religious activities as a deacon, passing the sacrament on Sunday mornings. He used an AR-15 rifle owned by his parents. This must be shocking to the entire community. <br /><br />This is a link to the story: <br /><br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF4AUlmWZmYCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-22971728631250762012014-06-11T17:27:19.250-07:002014-06-11T17:27:19.250-07:00We just had another attempted mass shooting. Jare...We just had another attempted mass shooting. Jared Michael Padgett, a Mormon teenager from a gun-packing pro-military right wing family in a suburb of Portland, Oregon, came to his high school armed to the teeth. He was stopped quickly, but not before murdering a fellow student and wounding a teacher. I guess 'tis the season for Anglo-American narcissistic rage.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-59028665490582675722014-06-11T16:09:28.455-07:002014-06-11T16:09:28.455-07:00Dear CS,
I'm slow to reply but grateful you w...Dear CS,<br /><br />I'm slow to reply but grateful you wrote about "male entitlement" as a problem that's deep and wide enough to be "benign." The first time someone raised my consciousness was when a professor told us to look at our bodies, how we were sitting. The females in the class were neatly tucked into invisible boxes so as not to impinge on a neighbor's space. The males were sprawled out in the alpha-monkey-genitalia pose (blame that description on my daughter, LOL)---taking their space and some of their neighbor's space, too. Some of the men were visibly alarmed to realize what they'd been doing their entire lives, never understanding why their sisters drew themselves in, to take as least amount of space possible. We do not even "see" the many ways we've been socialized according to gender. <br /><br />The "new" men's movement has pushed me into my feminist studies again which also includes pro-feminist male scholars like Allan Johnson. I tired of the wackadoos writing extremist articles to get attention they need to bring in the "money and fame." I remind myself that these folks are a minority. They do not represent the majority of human beings. On the Internet though, it's easy to miscalculate and assume their ridiculous writings are worthy of our time and energy. <br /><br />I watched the video below a few days ago and realized the "manosphere" was getting more attention than it merited...the anti-intellectualism is startling. I guess if you value your opinion that much, you don't have to spend your time studying. <br /><br />Still, I found it hard to believe that this man felt "entitled" to debate an academic scholar like Dillaway. For some reason, I felt much calmer watching this reactive man who was so incompetent and angry that it grounded me in reality again. It's easy to be misled by professional websites presenting a 'movement" as more valid than it actually is. In this video clip, I saw a guy who mocked education yet believed his opinion had merit while also taking up more room than the academic "feminist" with her hands and knees scrunched together. <br /><br />Fox News: Dean Esmay and Gender Studies and Sociology professor Heather Dillaway of Wayne State University. <br /><br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3-E_mRmjNM <br /><br />Any thoughts after watching him destroy the MRA's credibility in a single interview?<br /><br />p.s. My view of his incompetence is not universal. Proving only once again that we might as well stop debating. We'll hear what we want to hear and see what we want to see in order to justify pre-existing beliefs. CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-83664640940613879722014-06-11T15:15:00.945-07:002014-06-11T15:15:00.945-07:00Hello Betty LaLuna!
This topic gave me pause and ...Hello Betty LaLuna!<br /><br />This topic gave me pause and I hesitated writing about it after reading hateful comments about Elliot's parents. I really did not want to add to their misery, or the national hate-fest on parents like the Rodgers. I can't imagine being in their shoes right now and my heart goes out to them. <3 <br /><br />Your comment makes me feel comfortable about tackling this topic. Thank you so much for leaving a comment and letting me know you appreciated my approach!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CZCZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-50597529804352582302014-06-08T05:54:14.452-07:002014-06-08T05:54:14.452-07:00Kind of a sidebar, but it is a more 'benign...Kind of a sidebar, but it is a more 'benign' example of male entitlement. I have a FB "friend" who I only know through FB. The other day he insulted one of my other FB friends, because he disagreed with his political opinion. He wrote "you're a phony," in response to my other friend. I deleted his comment and wrote him a private note asking him not to insult MY friends on MY FB page, please. I told him, politely, that "it's not your place to do that, and I'd say the same to him if he insulted you."<br />So this guy "unfriended" me, writing that he "does not appreciated being censored anymore, and this just isn't working out. No hard feelings." I wrote back, "gee, that's a pity. I would not let any of my friends call my other friends names on my FB page; but if that's what you need to do, so be it. best, CS" <br /><br />I think he was actually expecting me to ask him to re-friend me! The sense of entitlement he exhibited, at other times too, about shit-bombing my other friends' comments when he didn't agree with them. I'd quietly delete entire posts just to get rid of the bad vibes. And I finally write him directly, and his response is "don't censor me." He thinks he's a feminist; yet he wouldn't see this a male entitlement. The problem goes deep and wide.Calibans Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04817489284771105048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-20484862745406442202014-06-06T20:53:37.720-07:002014-06-06T20:53:37.720-07:00Brilliant assessment, you have a knack for this mo...Brilliant assessment, you have a knack for this most cannot light a candle to...I am always fascinated by your ability to take such a complex subject matter and break it down so methodically yet simultaneously make it look effortless. Thank you for this work...Mara Miragehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10539840865517944670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-64930252922972932452014-06-06T12:27:09.755-07:002014-06-06T12:27:09.755-07:00Yes! It is far more complex and interconnected. Fa...Yes! It is far more complex and interconnected. Family has tremendous influence over a child's future; but "family" is not the sole determinant. Judith Rich Harris argues that peers are more influential than parents. She says, "Children learn at home how to behave at home (that’s where parents do have power!), and they learn outside the home how to behave outside the home." So do parents matter? Yes and no. Harris's theory is not popular for many reasons, some of which you touched on in your comment. Parents like to attribute success to themselves when children "turn out well."<br /><br />Parents also like to believe they have control over their child's "success" (whatever the measure of success might be). If parents think there's a possibility their child could turn out like Elliot Rodger, they may be afraid to invest their lives in raising a child. We want some kind of certainty that our time and effort will be meaningful...and when a child does something as horrific as Elliot, all those years caretaking and nurturing a child feel meaningless.<br /><br />And to your point, some parents fool themselves into believing that as long as their child has food, clothing and shelter, they've done their job---parents are not to blame if the child has problems. It reminds me of Roseanne Barr's famous joke: "If the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, I've done my job." <br /><br />The "adult recovery movement" and "psychoanalysis" seem to have expanded the parenting role into provide for a child's emotional and psychological well-being. We swing from one extreme to the other---blaming autism on "refrigerator mothers" to blaming our children as natural-born demons requiring a firm hand. There are other determinants in a child's life that are harder to define and maybe that's why we reduce complexity to The Family. <br /><br />But we can't just focus on The Family to understand Elliot Rodger. Society bears responsibility and we need to think about our self-deifying society. Or our therapeutic society. We used to say, "But I took my child to Sunday School!" and everyone thought the parents had done their job. Now parents say, "But I took my child to a therapist!"<br /><br />NOTE to all parents whose children end up in the news: be sure to tell reporters you took your child to therapy. <br /><br />I guess therapy is supposed to alleviate the woes of a narcissistic society gone haywire with self-gratification at our children's expense. We want to "have our way" and "do our thing" without considering the rest of society (our kids). Maybe that's another reason why people are quick to blame parents or lack of therapy. <br /><br />As far as poverty goes: In a JUST world, children would have basic rights to food, clothing and shelter. We know from studies that poverty increases the chances children (and adults) will be abused. It does not mean they WILL be abused. That any child should go to bed hungry is social abuse--easily dismissed by societies as parental fault. There's no reason children should be hungry in societies as rich as we are today. (Note that the finger of blame goes towards parents rather than social responsibility to protect and care for our children.)<br /><br />Thanks for commenting, TR! Always a pleasure to hear from you.<br /><br />CZ<br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-19599821141093412532014-06-05T07:42:09.784-07:002014-06-05T07:42:09.784-07:00Hi CZ,
This is a very well rounded post that looks...Hi CZ,<br />This is a very well rounded post that looks at complex issues and a singular event that is so sad with a lot more going on behind it. Your post tackles that layer that many of us don't want to uncover. So much more and made me aware of the subtly of misogyny that happens in divorce as many of mine and my husband's friends are divorced. It was something I hadn't been aware of and don't want to condone when topics of divorce are addressed in our friendships. <br /><br />I will touch on one specific layer that spoke out to me. <br />"I think the average person understands that horrendous childhoods, poverty, and abuse can overwhelm any one of us, but there's nothing NOTHING about Elliot's life that suggests an extreme environment or deprivation. I think that's why people are picking their favorite reason and trying too hard to place blame on someone, on something. Just please someone find a reason so parents can sleep at night!"<br /><br />The thinking that horrendous childhoods are tied to poverty and extreme abuse (broken bones or child murders) is something I often find unnerving. There are places everywhere where children do not have food, clothing or shelter - that is a human right. To think that basic human rights are fulfilled and that everything should be peachy and in Rodgers case - having plenty of it - that children are therefore not abused is correlating two things falsely. I do not mean that Rodgers parents are to blame, my point is that often some search for a correlation when it hits home a little too well. It is a scramble for a sense of security in knowing if you provide well everything will be okay. It is that feeling of uncertainty and that challenge that maybe how we (as in society, as in parenting, as in relationships) do things is not quite admirable as we thought. This can hit deep into the core of self-worth and trigger more shame (and sometimes with that - more blaming). <br /><br />I hear this often or least beginning to hear the subtle remarks in how a person behaves as to do with his family of origin. This has crossed many cultures, where it becomes more important to know who your parents are, what they do. I find it less so in the US however, it still plays out with some of my friends today. That who your parents are have to do with how the child will turn out. And that isn't the case. It is so much more complex and intertwined and interconnected. This is what is challenging in this post, is that it is interconnected, more complex and deserves close attention and dare I say consideration. <br /><br />Hugs, TR TRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08532757489135750861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-88895047492856936972014-06-02T12:02:35.696-07:002014-06-02T12:02:35.696-07:00Hi CS! A few more thoughts after reading your comm...Hi CS! A few more thoughts after reading your comment, thank you for speaking up. Many writers have felt a need to write about misogyny after reading Elliot’s man-ifesto. While it's a relief talking openly about a system that leads to violence, it's hard to contain this truth without feeling desperate and hopeless. I felt better after reading articles by people who not only have brains, but hearts. Even so, it was frustrating scrolling through comment after comment dismissing women's experiences as "there, there honey. Not ALL men hate you. WE love you."<br /><br />Most of the comment sections are like watching the movie "Gaslight" and being told there's no cause for alarm even though we smell noxious odors. Cognitive dissonance reigns supreme when people are told how much men respect them while at the same time, dismissing her opinion as "too sensitive", irrelevant, invalid. I skim through the comment sections of excellent articles, if I read comments at all. And I love me some thoughtful commentary. <br /><br />I think beliefs about female inferiority are deeply embedded in the way we think about ourselves as individuals. Maybe not until we are 'marginalized' in some way, can we bear the scrutiny of our complicity in a system that perpetuates violence. As long as people idealize agentic traits (masculine) as superior to communal traits, they are feeding into the narcissistic mentality. Well, we can't go around issuing warrants for people who disdain community and prefer self-reliance ("I am the living man!"); but we can listen to people who have been marginalized by the masculinist ideology. Instead of telling them they are wrong or offering excuses, or silencing their "voice", we can validate them. We can say, "I'm taking responsibility for my ignorant self today." ha! Yea right.<br /><br />I don't think comment sections are indicative of the general population but even when I try to talk face-to-face, older men get huffy and flustered and defensive. They feel challenged by my "truth" while expecting me to accommodate theirs. They excuse themselves from being complicit in a system that privileges them enough to believe they can "dismiss" my complaints as trivial. Or "mansplain" my experience TO ME. I love that word! Older men, the guys in my dating pool, would have to question the privileges they were entitled to receive at the benefit of women like myself; and yea, not all men can do that. They may CLAIM to be feminists (cuz they read Gloria Steinhem don't ya know) but when another woman shimmies up to their smokestack, actions betray words. Actions, not words, tell the truth of one's beliefs. Boomers are such pretenders. CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-41345952618175431252014-06-02T12:01:20.655-07:002014-06-02T12:01:20.655-07:00I wanted to add something else to this discussion ...I wanted to add something else to this discussion and it might sound odd to people who don't think of narcissism as Healthy. That our youth have higher scores on the NPI may be a good thing. NOT if their narcissism is pathological like Elliot Rodger of course. That young women score higher in narcissism today could be an indication of her healthy investment in autonomy. I know that what I've seen with the youth in their twenties, is acceptance of individuality. There appears to be a healthier relationship between "normal" couples in their twenties and early thirties (no stats on that, just my personal experience) than boomers ever EVER achieved. How this younger generation is managing to do that in a porn culture baffles me. Maybe once we've experienced the madness of an extreme porn culture, we can rein the pendulum back to sanity. <br /><br />I hope "Elliot" discussions will create awareness about male entitlement and female obligation to comply, which may not be misogyny per se; but the belief sets a precedent for violence when a man is denied. As long as we have a traditional system sustaining male entitlement and female obligation, we won't see a developing pathology in someone we ASSUME has limits on his/her aggression. We may laugh while reading websites so extreme in their hatred that we think they're vying for attention from peers. As long as a sacrosanct belief in male entitlement to sex remains unquestioned, Elliot Rodgers will hide within the ranks of the "normal." CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-45465334496692451372014-06-01T11:36:21.717-07:002014-06-01T11:36:21.717-07:00Hi anonymous! It's people like yourself who ha...Hi anonymous! It's people like yourself who have insight into pathology through personal experiences with narcissists. Educating yourself about narcissism Makes A Difference in ways you may not realize. For one thing, it allows people like you and me to see misogyny as a natural outcome of narcissism. <br /><br />Educating yourself about misogyny as a system will make a difference. It may mean refusing to buy products that use women as objects. It may mean boycotting a movie that presents women as prizes to the meanest, toughest character in the film. There are many organizations today that confront blatant commercialization of women's bodies, so joining an organization and contributing time and/or money is a way to participate in healthy change. <br /><br />I'm not sure going back to any point in time would be better than where we are today. I would NEVER want to go back to the 1950's or the 1940's when men believed they were entitled to women's bodies and patriarchal rulers of her soul. I'll never "get over" being told to bow my head and promise obedience to my husband during our marriage ceremony. It was humiliating, but it sparked an awareness that "I" was an acquisition, even in the eyes of God. I think every woman has a wake-up moment though she may silence herself (as she's been trained to do because her voice is unwelcome and a 'sin' against deity). <br /><br />One reason I've remained single is because I refuse to go back to the basics which means subordinating my authority to a man who sees himself as my authority and is supported by other men who sustain his authority as he sustains theirs. The system is too big for me to ignore and as my father said, "You've been free too long to ever get married again." I don't think he had any idea how validating that was, but true enough! Thanks, Dad! ha! <br /><br />What I hear in your comment though is not "More of The Dysfunctional Old", but an increased appreciation for traditional values such as kindness, social responsibility, compassion, empathy, charity, forgiveness---the "soft" values a narcissistic society denigrates in favor of dominance, superiority, status,being a bad-ass (bullying).<br /><br />My article, "Resources for people with a narcissistic personality" describes Agentic versus Communal traits: http://n-continuum.blogspot.com/2012/11/part-one-resources-for-people-with.html<br /><br />Communal traits are definitely devalued and discarded in a narcissistic society. You are right about that, anon. <br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-43966634678817068982014-06-01T10:51:06.382-07:002014-06-01T10:51:06.382-07:00Thank you for slogging through that long article w...Thank you for slogging through that long article with me. I had a difficult time organizing my thoughts about this situation. There's numerous "jumping off points" in my article which I hope to address in the near future. I hoped readers might pick up on any of those points and add personal experiences and thoughts. <br /><br />My main concern was warning parents about a misogynistic culture that will impact a child with Aspergers in unhealthy ways because they struggle "fitting in" to society. Most of the arguments online split into either-or. Either Elliot had Aspergers OR he had NPD. I'm suggesting its not either/or, that Aspergers may provide fertile ground for pathological narcissism if they are seduced into projecting hatred onto a specific group (in this case, women). <br /><br />People with Aspergers struggle with complex feelings they don't know how to manage or resolve. If they find common bond with people online, they may not be able to separate hyperbole from fact. I mean no offense to people with Aspergers but trust readers will appreciate my perspective as someone who loves her nephew enough to want the best things life has to offer: loving relationships.<br /><br />So to your question, anonymous (and thanks for prompting me to write about "No contact" which I hope has added to online conversations). I remember Gloria Steinham saying it would take 700 years to change our existing system and even though that makes a single individual feel powerless, it is empowering. It means we can do "something" to impact change but we don't have to Force Change. In other words, it's not up to us and it is up to us.<br /><br />I can't address your question in a comment section and will put my thoughts in another article because I do believe there are things we can do. Allowing women to speak for themselves is a great place to start. Comment sections of most of the articles I've read, devolve into pitting women against men as to who's the bigger victim. sheesh! I've almost quit reading comments on articles because I don't know if a thirteen-year-old is writing or an adult. It is very frustrating trying to talk about gender issues and being told "I" don't understand my own experience correctly. SheeshX2<br /><br />I am concerned (and it sounds like you are, too) that we'll be seeing more Elliot Rodgers, not fewer. Thus the title of my post: a canary in the coalmine. If women can't even discuss misogyny without receiving death threats (see the irony in that?), what hope have we of turning things around before something like this happens again? <br />CZBZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09575206236892096611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-24004811994505593882014-06-01T04:19:38.832-07:002014-06-01T04:19:38.832-07:00CZ, this post connects all the important dots. On...CZ, this post connects all the important dots. One can try to rope Rodger off as a "pathological individual," but you'd have to turn a blind eye to all the social discourses and values that propped him up. The "manosphere," the "voices for men" are really resentment driven. it's never easy stepping down from the mountain of privilege. And Rodger had so much self-loathing of the Asian maternal part of himself, he could only wish to hyper identify with paternal whiteness. That meant trading Mom in for new "hot" stepmother (I wonder if she was a blond?). In this case his parents knew there was something seriously wrong with him and did try to get the police to stop him. But he'd absorbed a set of cultural values that say "hot women" are your reward for being a "successful" "alpha male" (male chauvinist pig to second-wave feminists); women are still as commodified today as they were when we were growing up; it's just now we also get to have jobs, professions, public lives apart from that. We co-exist uneasily with those other messages that say we are "things" to be controlled by men, with violence if necessary. Rodger also killed his Asian roommates, clearly exterminating aspects of himself that he loathed. This crime had so many threads of contemporary cultural pathology tied together that one has to be in serious denial not to see the complicity of society in turning out young men like this. No matter how loud the cries of "not all men" are, it is still true that "too many men" are like this. And global oppression and violence against women is at epidemic proportions. The role of narcissism in this is a complex question, but whenever we're talking about feelings of "entitlement," narcissism is in there. Wonderful post, not a wrong note anywhere.Calibans Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04817489284771105048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-10133256818269473062014-05-31T17:51:47.887-07:002014-05-31T17:51:47.887-07:00I am not sure that we can do anything about it, ch...I am not sure that we can do anything about it, change society? Takes more than a few. While coming to terms with some family members who are N's , all I can do is handle the way I behave, not them. They can stir up too much behind your back, you can't " handle them, and until society as a whole goes back to more basics, I believe we are farming more N's Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6801485432556979796.post-30024415539471587662014-05-31T16:02:49.784-07:002014-05-31T16:02:49.784-07:00Okay...I hear you, but what is to be done about it...Okay...I hear you, but what is to be done about it all? I really appreciate your blog, and I am the person who originally asked you to write about the misuse of "No Contact." (I'm a guy, by the way.) And I see a lot of potential Elliot Rodgers in the making where I live. One family in particular comes to mind. Yet how do concerned outsiders reach such people? I tried, and the grocery stores around here don't sell enough Advil to handle the headache that results from trying. Also, how can healthy, intimate community be restored in this country? So many questions, but I won't have time to ask them all for another couple of weeks...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com