February 13, 2012

Ellie-Louise: Lessons in Love

"It is in the human connection that we see each others as human beings on this journey of life. Volunteering is an act of love. It is always first and foremost, an act of love."

"When you believe you have nothing left to give, that's the time to give! It is time to share love."

"In the virtual room of the Internet Forum, I began to give back more and more...In our giving, we receive so much more than we give." 

Louise's comments above are paraphrased from her TedxCalgary video linked below. I also added my Photoshop rendition of Ellie, the woman-with-a-screenname many of us came to know and love.

Her real name is Louise Gallagher, author of the blog Recover Your Joy. She also has a new blog called A Year of Making a Difference, probably because she's writer which means she can pop those essays out faster than I can think of a title. If you haven't read about Louise's journey, take a few minutes to bless yourself with her style, her inspirational encouragement, her story. You'll be the better for it, I guarantee.

And lest you believe Louise has always been an angel (just look at that innocent smile on her face!), take it from me: neither of us will be sprouting feathers out of our shoulder blades anytime soon. Feather dusters, maybe. We've learned to clean up after ourselves even when we didn't want to---even when it seemed impossible. Time and healing, time and faith, time and good hearts make anything possible. Even a tender friendship between a Canadian wanderlust dandelion and an American shrinking violet.

Louise was invited to speak at a Ted conference in Calgary. The very idea of getting up in front on an audience and talking about the psychopathic relationship nearly gave me a heart attack...me being more comfortable behind the kitchen sink than a microphone. To support her chutzpah and daring, I did my part: I worried about her before she gave her speech. You know how helpful worrywarts are, right? We send out our good vibes, tightly controlling our fears inside our chests and when the person we're worried about does a fantastic job, we thank the Good Lord for the power of prayers though we deign not tell our intellectual neighbors we still believe in such things. And we dare not tell our therapist lest she think we have a problem with magical thinking and a narcissistic personality.

To Ellie-Louise if you're reading this blog (and if you aren't, yer in trubble), you did a wonderful job. I'm so proud of your accomplishments this last decade. It's been almost a decade since we met on a forum discussing narcissism and psychopathy. Can you believe it? Bless you and your work.

"Louise Gallagher has a remarkable personal story that has turned tragic circumstances into a life filled with passion and joy. Her book 'The Dandelion Spirit' was turned into a documentary for the Oprah Network and has touched people's lives across North America. Louise's work at the Calgary Drop-In Centre includes inspiring efforts like the development of the Possibilities Project that uses art in its many forms to keep people of the streets. She has the soul of a warrior poet and her story is transformative." ~YouTube link

Some of you may be interested in this article posted on the WoN Connection (our WoN Forum's blog). Ellie-Louise speaks candidly about her psychopathic relationship and message board recovery. She writes:

"Those first six months were pretty tenuous. I knew I had received a miracle the day he was arrested and I knew I had been given a gift to live this one wild and precious life fearlessly in love with all of me. But, I was scared and frightened and still raw from the trauma. I’d have to say the feeling like myself is long ago. I feel like a new woman. Far stronger, greater, wiser, more confident and complete than I ever felt before." ~Excerpted from An interview with Ellie by CZBZ 

Hugs all! Love you, Louise!


  1. CZ -- you are amazing. What a beautiful shrinking violet you are!

    thank you. I am honoured and humbled by your inclusion of my story.

    And, I am grateful. My dream is to inspire everyone to let go of what hurts us to fall into Love with all we can be when we set ourselves free of the past.

    Thank you for being part of my dream.

    Love you!


    (and whew -- I'm not in trouble? right? 'Cause I hate cyber-digs and kicks!) :) (did I mention I'm funny? -- No? Yeah. well. I think so... but don't ask my daughters, ok? They'll tell you the truth!) :)

    1. Ha! You will never be in trouble with me, Louise and I trust the reverse is also true. I don't do cyber-digs or kicks or splits...not even hidden messages. :) And I still manage to tick people off now and then!

      You are not in trouble because you read my blog without me even emailing you. So actually in fact, you get a shiny gold star. I wish you lived next door and I'd hand it to you in person.

      I posted your video on our message board and our blog (The WoN Connection). I'd love for as many people as possible, to hear you speak. It's amazing how loving you are after such a nightmarish experience. Devil in a blue suit, indeed!

      Love you, (and say "hi" to your girls from violet, okay?)


  2. LOL -- see, I forgot to come back and check your response -- CZ i think you're awesome and i too find you very real and very much in my life -- for which I'm glad.

    Hugs my friend -- I'm going to bed. Beauty sleep and all that jazz!

  3. I think you are BOTH awesome women!

    I will listen to Ellie/Louise because I need to hear this lesson...NOW.

    I've fallen into another (continuing) depression because I can't make people 'be' the loving people that I need and want them to be.

    Talk about magical thinking!! So it is, because when there is a narcissist on the other end of the line....and this one is important...as in 'family'...you have trouble giving up illusions.

    But! Others come clean....and make it out of the murk.

    Kudos to both of you!

    Lady Nyo


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