Your Online Counselor: Beth McHugh
The Roadshow for Therapists: Christine Louis de Canonville
The Narcissism Epidemic: Jean Twenge
Will I Ever Be Good Enough: Karyl McBride
Manipulative People: George Simon
Narcissistic Mother: Michele Piper
Pete Walker (includes articles about complex ptsd)
Ann Smith: Ending destructive life patterns
Steve Becker
Knowledge Is Necessity
Cults and Spiritual Abuse
Commandments of Men: Patriarchal/Authoritarian Dictionary
Caldini's Principles of Social Influence
Pathology & Narcissism
I am in need of some counseling in dealing with and healing from a narcissistic divorce. Are there any support groups, in the far south suburbs of IL? I can't afford counseling.
ReplyDeleteMy best advice since you can't afford counseling, is joining online support groups and writing about your situation. There's wisdom and power in a group that simply cannot be gleaned from reading blogs. Of course, keep reading blogs, ha! The people who have managed best are those who accessed blogs for information and joined a community to write out their thoughts and talk about their lives.
DeleteBecause many narcissists have substance addictions, you might try going to Alanon. If your partner is not using alcohol or drugs, you can consider his addiction to be "narcissism." He will do almost anything to feel good about himself, right? Alanon is a 12-step group for people whose lives are affected by someone with an addiction (narcissism) and I love this organization. It's very inexpensive, even "free" if you can't afford the $2 donation and they teach healthy boundaries for people, helping them reclaim their lives from chaos and restore their self-worth.
Hugs
CZ
Really good advice CZ, I could not agree with you more. I hope it is alright for me to share something else with your readers. Sometimes it is possible to get very reduced cost counselling (even FREE) if you can find a woman's centre or shelter near to where you live, especially those dealing with violence against women (not so many centres that specifically help men who have experienced voilence from narcissistic women). It is worth asking. Also be aware, that not every counsellor understands narcissistic abuse, but I suggest that you bring in your knowledge into the therapy room (what you have researched for yourself, and the information you have managed to get from other victims on narcissistic forums)...... any therapist worth their salt is open to new learning. I know that many victims have led their therapists to my site for free information (because they have told me)....... I am a therapist living in Dublin and who worked with victims for years. Here is a link to my site.http://narcissisticbehavior.net/
DeleteHi Christine!
DeleteThere's a direct link to your website, "The Roadshow for Therapists," on the page since the comment section doesn't allow hyperlinking.
People assume physical violence is the only qualifier for attending classes at woman's centers or shelters. These organizations focus on numerous forms of abuse, not just battery/assault. Excellent suggestion, thanks for adding your input!
As far as telling a therapist what we've learned about narcissism, that's questionable. I've noticed a few professionals writing critical online articles mocking laypeople's "unprofessional" diagnoses. One person told me her therapist suggested she examine her own narcissism and stop pointing fingers at her spouse. But as you mentioned, Christine, "any therapist worth their salt is open to new learning." If they are not, if they invalidate our natural desire to understand WHY a relationship isn't functioning properly, then leave the session and find another therapist. One who is more interested in validating the client than his or her ego.
Even if a therapist discounts a client's "studies", the knowledge we gain about narcissistic relationships bolsters our self-esteem and confidence. When we realize what we were up against trying to love someone with a narcissistic personality, we can sooth ourselves with self-compassion and Love ourselves for even trying.
Hugs
CZ
I've tried to register on web of narcissism...but the question "What color is the sky" has me baffled? No answer is correct!
ReplyDeleteNeed some quick advice with DIL. A vacation with large family/grandchildren for 70th Birthday 7 yrs ago has destroyed my family. I could write a book! But for now...I never learn & seem to overstep boundaries always thinking I can help. Intentions good but BUT 2 months ago I referred to a method used by psychologist with her just once...had heard something on radio program about how it helped & since she listens sometimes thought she might have heard how helpful it was & maybe she might want to try again. BIg MISTAKE...she accused me of calling her crazy, went wild on the phone & used no contact thing eversince. In a way a relief for past 2 months but my son has asked me to apologize because he just can't take the "no contact"...no getting together etc. His stress between a busy job & wife is very worrying to me. I was in the middle of a major COLD ALWAYS GOING TO LUNGS ..COPD! Told him I would try & figure out what I could say. Have put it off...for a week. Received text telling me of grandsons tournament game...thanked her & attended without apology. Today received a text saying...What makes me think I can talk to her at game without apology! The good DIL I truly care about but at 77 this is getting to be too much. No one can ever be right with her...only sees life her way! If I explain I truly meant only to help...won't work. All my fault for even suggesting help...but what do I say? Some of my other kids who live in other cities have said...keep no contact! You can't ever be right... but they don't live here. Help....please. How to handle? Think I need help just to survive...because she complains to me, I open mouth & insert foot...and trouble looms.
It sounds like the software isn't recognizing your "right" answer. What you can do is email me directly and I'll register and account for you:
Deletewonmanagers@yahoo.com
Your situation sounds complicated, so a forum will be the perfect venue. Just writing helps us see our situation more clearly and we can often figure out our own answers after devoting enough time to write a forum message. Writing puts things in order and while we're doing that, we're meeting people who've been through similar experiences.
If you email me directly, be sure to put "WoN Registration" in the subject title of your email. I hope to hear from you soon!
Hugs,
CZ