Destructive Narcissistic Pattern
by Dr. Nina Brown
by Dr. Nina Brown
"This book presents a theory for a sub-clinical category termed, the destructive narcissistic pattern. The focus is on adults exhibiting less severe manifestations of behaviors and attitudes usually associated with pathological narcissism.
"...Numerous strategies are provided that are designed to protect and/or allow one to cope with a relative, co-worker or significant other who has a destructive narcissistic pattern. Also presented are the characteristics of healthy adult narcissism as derived from the psychological literature. These characteristics are: creativity, empathy and a sense of humor. Considerable attention is given in the book to providing exercises and activities to guide the reader in developing their personal underdeveloped narcissism."
"...Parental destructive narcissism can have significant and deep-seated effects on their children and these effects can persist into adulthood. What is most troubling for many of these adult children of self-absorbed parents is that they feel something is wrong but cannot identify what it is...."
ABSTRACT: "This article introduces the term “co-narcissism” to refer to the way that people accommodate to narcissistic parents. I use the term narcissism here to refer to people with very low self-esteem who attempt to control others’ views of them for defensive purposes. They are interpersonally rigid, easily offended, self-absorbed, blaming, and find it difficult to empathize with others. Conarcissistic people, as a result of their attempts to get along with their narcissistic parents, work hard to please others, defer to other’s opinions, worry about how others think and feel about them, are often depressed or anxious, find it hard to know their own views and experience, and take the blame for interpersonal problems. They fear being considered selfish if they act assertively. A high proportion of psychotherapy patients are co-narcissistic. The article discusses the co-narcissistic syndrome and its treatment, and gives case examples of patients who suffer from this problem."
"...The issue underlying the practices described here—namely, those that confuse self-esteem with narcissism and those that misuse enchantment—is authenticity versus phoniness. Engaging children in investigations and close observation of their real worlds in ways that respect their lively intellects, and that provide opportunity for effort and real problem solving is more likely to foster healthy self-esteem than are amusement, flattery, and praise for cheap success at frivolous tasks." ~Uses and Misuses of Enchantment
Energy Vampires by Dr. Judith Orloff
"Some people bring unexpected lightness and comfort to your life. They crackle with energy, practically electrify you with their presence. And then there are those who leave you feeling stressed out. Or guilty. Or exhausted down to your very last molecule. I call them energy vampires, and obnoxious or meek, they come in all forms."
Other articles and interviews are located here: Dr. Judith Orloff.com
The Bad Apples by Steven Kahn
"When you come across someone and nothing works with him, cut your losses. Don’t waste any more effort trying. This is a big world full of wonderful people and a few bad apples."
"...In this study, we were interested in exploring the association between a different type of aggression more commonly exhibited by girls, relational aggression, and two indices of peer relations-popularity (i.e., peer acceptance and rejection) and friendships. We were also interested in exploring whether the presence of a different type of social behavior, prosocial behavior, would change the relationship between aggression and popularity. .."
Other links to websites and articles about Relational Aggression: Youth & Family Resource Center
Books by Dr. Jay Carter